50 Shades Darker on This Morning – Jamesey Reviews

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed or not but there’s a big movie coming out in a few days. It’s been all over the TV in the form of adverts and music videos. It’s about a billionaire with a secret, a billionaire who enjoys things that are a little….unconventional. No it’s Batman. (I am for the record actually Batman so I’m not writing a blog about myself.) No – I’m talking about 50 Shades Darker. The highly anticipated sequel to 50 Shades Of Grey.


I wrote a blog last year when This Morning did a segment about sex toys asking whether this was a step towards breaking the taboo that is often associated with using them.  This Morning did another segment this week where they interviewed the two main stars of the movie Jamie Doran and Dakota Fanning. It wasn’t as hard hitting as the sex toys segment and looking through Facebook comments it hardly even registered any uproar – in fact the Kim Woodburn interview seemed to generate more hate than this interview did.(side note – she’s amazing!)  This got me thinking, for about the millionth time, why 50 Shades as a brand seems to be immune to the scorn that is usually associated with anything sex related.


Obviously there will always be jokes associated with 50 Shades from men who just don’t understand the love that the original trilogy received when they were released. In terms of branding the books broke records, it got people discussing sex and as someone who was working in an adult store at the time I can honestly say it got to the point where I heard or said the name Christian Grey more than “do you want lube to go with that?”.


The Wisest Words You Will Ever Hear

I’m not going to go into massive details about the 4 minute interview, it was your standard press junket where the interviewer is one in a very long line of people to come in, ask questions and then promote the movie. Alison Hammond was brilliant as always (I really love her and think we would be total BFFs) and she brought a brilliant streak of classic British tongue in cheeky humour. They skim over the actual bondage aspect of the movie and focus more on Anna’s growth as a person and her new found strength. The fact that it was on This Morning means that it would have been watched by millions of people and again the conversation about 50 Shades would be reignited. Which if you read my previous blog post, I’m a huge fan of anything that ignites conversation about sex and sexual preference in an adult way, especially if it’s helping to break barriers and normalize social taboos.



However, it did make me wonder why 50 Shades has made such a cultural impact when 9 years earlier there was another film that dealt with BDSM relationships in a much more frank and (in my opinion) realistic manner. For those who have seen it I can imagine the head nodding that’s going on, for those who are unsure the movie I’m talking about is Secretary which came out in 2002.


This is movie which tackles BSDM, fetish, sub/dom relationships and of course has a deep rooted love story. However it takes a much more frank approach. Mr Grey in this (played by James Spader) isn’t a dominant billionaire who has embraced his fetish as he is nervous and uncertain. He knows the risks that living a full BDSM relationship involves and the central theme of the movie is about power. Who has the power – the submissive or the dominant?  Where is the line between sexual fulfilment and abuse? It doesn’t shy away from the use of spreader bars, spanking or the mental exchange that comes with a willing sub/dom relationship. If you are interested in 50 Shades for the fetish aspect of the trilogy I cannot recommend this movie enough. It’s a love story that at heart is about accepting yourself and your own sexuality. It’s an unapologetic view of a world that until very recently has been the butt of jokes or for uniformed viewed as abusive.


It does beg the question- why did 50 Shades make such a cultural splash when Secretary didn’t? The answer is quite simple – format.  Both started as books, admittedly Secretary was a short story in a collection called Bad Behaviour.  While 50 Shades was a standalone story and came at the point of a big step in technology.  The invention of tablets and e-readers meant that the original trilogy could be read anywhere at any time without anyone knowing what you were reading so there was absolutely no shame in reading it on the bus.  Word of mouth obviously played a large part in the success as well and then BOOM before you knew it 50 Shades was everywhere. People were openly talking about sexual preference; they were WILLING to try out new things. Bondage was thrust into the lime light and suddenly people were willing to try something that might be outside of their comfort zone. The adult industry suddenly became a lot of frightening and people visited sex shops eager to kit out their own Red Room.


So why did 50 Shades succeed in breaking down a wall that movies like Secretary and Preaching to the Perverted fail? People were happy to talk about it, people had embraced it. The timing was just right. The fact that This Morning did an interview with the stars of the movie goes to show how far we have come in attitudes towards sex and sexual preference. The key part of having a morning show talking about this is that it will generate conversation. Conversation leads to understanding and understanding leads to acceptance. There’s a quote from a movie I watched years ago called Party Monster that has stuck with me for years. “If you feel like a troll, you should dress like a troll. It doesn’t matter what you look like. If you’ve got a hunchback just throw a little glitter on it honey and go dancing!”.


I’ve had hangover that look like this

 This applies to everything. If you’re embarrassed about your fetish, you turn it into a dirty secret. If the cultural success of 50 Shades has taught us anything, it’s to embrace your own unique taste. Be you. Enjoy every aspect of what makes you, the unique individual you are, if you like MILFS, Chains, Latex, PVC, Transsexuals, Rope, BBW’s, Older Men, Hairy Ladies , all the above or none of the above that’s fine. Don’t be ashamed of it and if you are the type of person who judges people for this, remember in 2002 a movie came out about a fetish lifestyle and barely got noticed, while in 2011 a movie came about a fetish lifestyle and completely changed the landscape of sexual discussion.  Times are changing and who knows what the next taboo is that will get broken. Its’ 2017 – take your unique tastes and talk about them. Break the walls and help normalize something that is important to you.

with love 2016

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RO-90mm Shoot to Thrill 10 Function Bullet – Jenna-G Reviews

Rocks Off is a hugely popular name in the adult world, well known for making excellent, top-notch toys for both females and males; they have a wonderful, unique style which invokes fun and coolness, glamour and adventure. If you’ve ever been into one of our stores you may have seen a display of Rocks Off Bullets (among their other awesome toys), they come in many funky colours and awesome patterns to choose from. Why do we stock them? They are a reliable, powerful and variable Bullet that has many a cool design to offer, there is bound to be at least one that sparks the attention of the pickiest of souls.


Today I have the RO-90mm Shoot to Thrill 10 Function Bullet. There are three colours to choose from, gold, metallic rose, and silver. It comes in no-nonsense packaging that allows you to fully see what you’re getting; it’s easy to open and has no excess wrapping to have to dispose of. Tidy. Inside, the card folds out to give detailed instructions on the care and maintenance of the Bullet which is very useful as a reminder for those experienced in toy use, and education for the first timer.


The Bullet is powered by one AAA battery, which is included – just be sure to take out the tab inside when it’s time to play! The top screws off and has a watertight seal, the accompanying card informs me that the Bullet is 100% waterproof and fully submersible (tested in the bath, yes, it’s still fine).

The button to control the beast is at the base, press it to turn it on, long press – 3 seconds – to turn it off, the same button controls the various vibrations, you just keep on pressing until you find the setting you want to play with. There are three speeds and seven funky vibration patterns to choose from; it’s a good mix of sensations aimed at teasing and pleasing. I found that the vibrations on this Bullet aren’t as ‘harsh’ as some I’ve felt and that made it all the more enjoyable for me, I can say that me and hubby certainly had a great bath-time anyway!


I like its appearance; it’s dinky, skinky, has a cute motif embossed on the body, plus it doesn’t have a tip that’s too sharp for me to use – I’m not a fan of sharp, I prefer a more rounded end, however this is tapered not sharp so it would suit anyone’s preference as it is pointy, but not too pointy that it’s sharp, so it’s great for either taste.

As to the length of the Bullet – the clue is in the name – it’s 90mm long, so it is longer than a lot of Bullets out there, not too small that it’s fiddly nor is it too big you couldn’t slip it into your make-up bag.


All in all, this is a lovely looking Bullet with the capability of shuddering the Earth for you as many times as you let it! Well pleased I got mine, it’s so cute and feels great! I believe this is the start of a wonderful friendship!


with love 2016



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Smut:Restrained – A Knotty Affair by Jamesey Reviews

As you may have noticed last week I did a blog post as part of the Smut.Uk blog hop. The reason being for this was twofold. I had a spreader bar and needed to review it and I knew I was going to be attending the Smut:Restrained event. Now I’m assuming that by the restrained part of the name that you can figure out that this event had something to do with restraint techniques. A quick look over the facebook event page gave me the following information –


We return to the wonderful Miss T’s dungeon for an afternoon that focuses on Restraint, be it chains, ropes, cuffs, and other more inventive items.

We’ll have demonstrations on the safe methods for using these items and what can be done once you have someone restrained.

We will also have -Ran- an experienced rigger on hand to give advice and answers your questions.

The world famous erotic tombola will also be a highlight of the day with some spectacular prizes to be won from some truly fabulous companies. You could even win a unique “thud” limited edition paracord flogger.

Snacks and Hot & Cold Drinks will also be available throughout the day.”

Now if you read last week’s blog you know, I’m not exactly Christian Grey but the fetish scene is something has become increasing interesting to me, so from both a personal level and a professional level I was actually quite excited to attend.  If you’ve read these blogs for a while, you’ll know I literally need to know everything about everything before I do it; so knowing I was going to a restraint event, I figured that it would probably benefit me to do a little reading before I went. I found some pretty amazing things out about rope play and thought I’d pass on the knowledge. Who knows when it’s going to come up in a pub quiz!


I’m just like Babs.

  1. One popular form of rope bondage technique derives from the erotic Japanese bondage art form of shibari. (pronounced she-barry)
  2. Shibari is actually developed from a no longer used Japanese military restraint techqniue called hojoustu.
  3. In the western world a wide range of rope is commonly used such as cotton, artificial fibers etc.
  4. However in Japanese bondage only hemp or jute is used.

Admittedly not something that’s likely to come up in your local, but now you can amaze and dazzle your friends with your new rope bondage knowledge!

After a bit of a discussion with the event organizer Victoria I received the ticket and was ready to go! I took the hubby and Phil, a member of the Nice ‘n’ Naughty Liverpool team. With the car loaded, the sat-nav charged and enough sweets to make Willy Wonka jealous – we were off to Stockport!


I’m also a little like Britney – 2007 edition obvs.

We arrived at Miss T’s dungeon, which was nicely situated by a car park (one of the cheapest car parks I’ve ever seen! Seriously – it was £2 for like 5 hours stay!!) We went into the dungeon and were greeted by Victoria, who welcomed us and asked us to put on one of two name tags; red if you don’t want your photo taken and black if you don’t mind.


As if it would be any other colour

It’s always difficult when you are going to a new event or meeting people that you don’t really know, but within about five minutes of arriving, I was sipping a coffee (aka – the force that keeps me alive) and chatting to Ran (one of the experts on hand for the day) about the event. Everyone was so welcoming and the atmosphere was amazing. I had a wander round the waiting room and spotted the “World Famous Tombola”, naturally I had to have a go, but after 4 tickets I still hadn’t won anything so in a sulk decided that I’d had enough tombola for one day.


Before I knew it, the first tutorial was about to begin. We were asked to enter into the actual dungeon where Ran and his sub Sooki were waiting. Now the only dungeon I’ve ever been in is usually occupied by a white mage, a paladin and a boss, so being in an actual working dungeon was a first for me.


I’m the one in the back

 After a discussion about the history of rope play (thanks for the heads up google!) Ran showed us a few techniques and restraints that even a novice like me could remember and use. I didn’t get any pictures from this part as Ran was wearing a red sticker, but the demonstration was amazing. You could see the relationship between the two was well established and they both knew how to bring out the best in each other. When you think of bondage the first thing that pops into your mind if pain – after watching these two, I realised that there was so much more to the world of restraint that pain. There was laughter, giggling and a connection between two people who had an unshakable trust in each other.


I think I should get one of these for work…..

When Ran had finished we went back to the waiting area, where more conversation flowed, Phil tried his hand at the tombola – he actually won and I totally wasn’t jealous. I also managed to top up my coffee levels. Again I couldn’t help but marvel how comfortable I felt and how chatty people were. Again Ran was on hand for any questions and even showed us some of the ropes from his own collection. Including a rainbow rope that I actually NEED in my life.


I loved this rope!

Next up was the chains class; this being led by Sensi and his sub Irish Ivory. Sensi was nothing but lovely during the whole class. He had already set up the dungeon with the items that he would need and his sub was collared and ready to go. After a brief discussion about where to get chains from and the different types of playing that you could do with chain (such as putting it in the fridge or freezer beforehand) we move onto the actual techniques used and he walked us through the safety aspect of chain play and how best to ensure the safety of the person you are chaining up. When he began the demonstration, Miss T herself even got involved and helped to hold the chains while he spoke to us. This demonstration was different to the rope, more so because you are dealing with very different materials but it was just as educational and when it was over we made sure to give a round of applause.


some of Sensi’s handiwork

We had to leave after this due to previous commitments so sadly we missed out on the readings and play session. I have seen some of the photo’s and it looks like it was loads of fun.I can honestly say that the whole afternoon was something that I’m never going to forget. It’s a similar feeling i got when I went to ETO, working within this industry can be a little alienating at times, you can’t always just chat to people about your work or interests  for fear of scaring or traumatizing them, but when you’re in a space with people who share an interest in your industry, whether personal or professional you get to drop your defenses a little and actively engage in conversations without minding what your saying.

I’ve already gotten in touch with Smut and confirmed that I will be attending their Wax Play event in April!

with love 2016

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50 Shades Of Grey – I Put A Spell On You

Two Things

  1. Annie Lennox is a Legend! (Officially)



with love 2016

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So Divine Wicked Game Magic Wand – Jenna-G Reviews

A double-ended Wand; the mind boggled!

I first saw a picture of the Magic Wand and immediately liked the look of it; it is very different to most Wands and it actually looked useful. Well, depending on how big the actual toy was – I then read that one end could be inserted so realised, happily, it was not going to be one of those big hefty Wands which I wouldn’t think would be too comfortable inserted! (Have you *seen* how big and powerful those things can be?!) This Magic Wand by So Divine measures in at 9.5 inches from top to tip, that intrigued me and I was eager to give it a whirl.



The Magic Wand comes in a secure, cellophane wrapped sturdy card box, the lid of which lifts off. There’s a picture of the toy on the box which is not the actual size of the Wand. The design on the box is modern, looks sophisticated, gentle colours and fancy fonts, reverse the box and there is a ‘How to Use’ guide which tells you how to operate the Magic Wand – simple – see below for ‘Operation’.


There is a disclaimer here which advises; “Please note: the top and bottom cannot vibrate at the same time” – so bear that in mind – however the Wand does quickly change from one side to the other at just one click of a button – see below for ‘Operation’.


Open up the box and inside you’ll find the Magic Wand and its ‘belongings’. It comes with a magnetic USB charging cable which attaches itself onto the neck of the Magic Wand to charge up, plus a USB adaptor plug – this is ace, hardly anyone includes these, I find myself wanting to gush at how generous So Divine are in including these with the Wand so yes, that is a nice little bonus in there, quite frankly.
Also in the box is a sweet little note which includes advice on cleaning your new toy, as well as a nice drawstring pouch to store your new Magic Wand, the bag is made from a soft yet robust, brushed-cotton-type of material.



Couldn’t be simpler – Hold the middle button in until the light comes on, then pick a side by pressing the corresponding arrow button.
Press the chosen arrow again and again to cycle through the three speeds and 7 patterns for that motor.
You can switch motor (and therefore side of the Wand) just by pressing the other arrow, the mtor immediately switches from one to the other with no fuss.
To turn off the Wand you simply hold in the middle button for a few seconds.

1. “Ultra quiet but powerful” – Agreed, not noisy and it certainly is powerful.
2. “100% waterproof” – Washed it before first use in my sink full of warm water and toy cleaner (always wash your toys before and after use!) – 100% fine. A doddle to keep clean.
3. “USB Rechargeable & Cordless, Lasts Up To 2 Hours” – Not timed but I’ve used it twice and had it in my hands toying around with it on and off as I write this review. Not lost any spark as yet, charged up quite fast too.
4. “10 Powerful Settings, 3 Speeds, 7 Functions” – Really good mix of patterns and speeds, easy to cycle through them.
5. “Dual Motor For Extra Pleasure” – Ace! Switching between the two motors is easy too; all you have to do is click the arrow which points to the side you want turning on.
6. “Premium Silky Soft Silicone Surface” – This is the silicone I much prefer, rather than the ‘grabby’ type which catches dust like a magnet. This is definitely as described.
7. “Latex & Phthalate Free” – Good. Always be sure toys you use are free from any nasty chems!
8. “2 Year So-Divine Warranty” – Bonus!

The Magic Wand and Me

I genuinely liked the Magic Wand, I was impressed with the choice of vibes and liked the idea of having a choice of what end I wanted to use. I had a go at both but my favourite end was the ‘insertable’ end which I actually used on my outer, the ‘wand’ end proved very useful to hold onto! My fingers could grip around the neck and pulling it back and forth I got off in no time lmao! When using the Wand with my hubby that neck came in useful again for his fingers so that’s pretty cool haha!


I wouldn’t be able to keep track of what vibes did what, so I’ll just end this bit my saying I doubt I clicked more than twice, which would have taken me to speed number 2 only! I love that I have a load of orgasmic nights to look forward to with this Wand as me and hubby go through every setting it has to offer!!


with love 2016


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Getting EXCITED!!!



with love 2016

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Lelo Mini Luna Beads – Jenna-G Reviews


Bit of Background

Jiggle Balls, Ben Wa Balls, Venus Balls, Love Balls, Geisha balls… Whatever you want to call them – The idea is very simple, balls (usually two which are bound together by a string pull-cord) that are, inserted into the vagina, the pubococcygeus (that’s pubo-cock-seeg-ious – the pelvic floor) muscles then hold them in place as you walk about. The balls smack each other around and jiggle inside you causing a teasing, vibrating, ‘jiggly’ sensation as you go about your business! Originally from the Chinese area of the world, this style of toy has been around for centuries and has been a staple toy for billions of ladies worldwide.


Nowadays they come in many variations and sizes. The standard is two balls, but I’ve also seen just the one ball, even three balls. They’re all designed with the intention of having something that causes them to tantalize and tease. Most of the time, the balls are hollow with another little ball inside to cause the ‘clacking’ – some of them rely on each other to clack together and cause the smiles. Basically the more wibbly the balls, the more of an intense feeling you get!

As you probably know, there are many different ones on the market and many of them are as cheap as chips. I’ve had a couple of different styles in the past but I’m not going to waste our time talking about those that I didn’t like or found didn’t do anything for me, as with many, many, many things in life, everyone is different and what was crap to me may be ace to someone else, I’ll just say in my experience with these – “you get what you pay for”.

OK, So What’s Good?
I will, however talk about my all-time favourite, the Lelo Mini Luna Beads! They are the only ones I actually fell in LOVE with, and look forward to using so much I feel as though they are my secret lover. I get all excited when I start to toy with the idea of putting them in, never mind what happens when they are actually in! I’ve had them since May of last year, nearly a year now and I’ve used them LOADS!!


OK, first off remember that there are two versions of the Lelo Luna Bead – they will be discussed below – this reviews serves to encompass BOTH versions – the only difference in Beads are the size in diameter.

Sizing – We’re All Unique

So, which of the two sizes to choose from?

The ‘Original’ is 35mm in diameter and Lelo “generally recommend that women over the age of 30 and/or women who have experienced childbirth” use these ones.
The ‘Mini’ is 29mm in diameter and are “more suitable for women under 30 who have never experienced childbirth”.

Well, in theory I actually match the Original recommendation. However, I thought the Original seemed a too big for me so I bought the Mini ones; my body, my rules! There were more methods to the madness, in going against Lelo’s advice and choosing the Mini; the other reasons I based my decision on was that I’ve always been active (ballet dancer, athlete, gymnast, dancer), I’m a small woman – except in length as I’m kinda tall – but body-wise I’m small, thin, my ribcage is a child-like 30 inches! Plus I have always had this habit of clenching my vagina whenever and always, just ‘cos I can, I pretty much do it all the time, I could probably piss out the Morse Code if I knew it. Plus, worst-case scenario if they were too small I thought I’d be up for the challenge of trying to keep them in.

I seriously ummmed and ahhhhhed about this for days as I didn’t want to waste my cash on something that might just fall out! However, I knew my body rightly, and I needn’t have worried as upon first insertion I was so, so, so, relieved I did get the Mini as they fit just perfectly and have never even come close to falling out! But please, please, please remember we are all different, be realistic and get the size you feel is right for you.


The Product @ Home
Having finally chosen and purchased my Beads I took them home and excitedly got into the box, actually this deserves a comment of its own –


Packaging & Presentation
There’s a sleeve over the white box they come in with the product info on, the sleeve slips off and beneath you have this lovely little sturdy white box. You can keep the Beads in there for life if you so wanted to, I do on my bedside table where it looks pretty and no one would ever guess what’s in there, unless they could tell from the name “Lelo” on the top in a silvery writing.

Take the top off and there you have your Beads laid out on a nice padded ‘bed’ with a place for each piece of the set; 5 components in all – the 4x Beads, and 1x silicone harness. Pull out the Beads’ ‘bed’ and you have an instruction manual, 1-year warranty, and black satin drawstring bag.

It’s presented really well, looks very pretty, nice soft colours, strong packaging which is easy to open, plus, it’s useful for storage.


The Product @ Home – Continued

So as I said above, inside the box are 4x Beads in total; 2x Pink and 2x Blue – the Pink ones weigh less than the Blue and obviously mixing and matching will give differing work-outs. You can use the harness to keep them together and for easier removal, but most of the time I like to pop the Blue ones in on the own and let them do their thing, then I kinda “pop” them out after using my muscles.


That’s the best thing about these Beads; the way you can alternate how you use them – one ball, two balls, different weighted balls – use the harness, without the harness – choice is yours and all choices bring a unique sensation, plus you know your vagina is not only being pleasured, but you are also having a good work-out down there too!


The recommended work-out time is about 20 minutes, but you can go all day if you can take the pleasure, the longer you leave them in the better work-out your vagina gets!


Since buying these beads, I have completely changed the way I look at this style of toy. I now realise that the Love Balls I’d bought previously were just too big for me, I now know if I want to buy other styles of Love Balls I’d want to be looking for smaller sizes, not the generic, cheap ones I’d had in the past. However, I haven’t been looking for any replacements for the Mini Luna Beads as I absolutely love them and they’ve become a favourite of mine.

Plus it feels firmer down there so there’s obviously something being exercised rightly! I pop them in and go about my housework, the sensuous ‘movement’ down there excites me but I try to ignore it for as long as I can. Once I’ve done all my tasks around the house & garden I then give my clit a quick rub & I’m done within seconds! They’ve also helped me discover just how much I LOVE g-spot stimulation and how easy I get off on that.


The Luna Mini Luna Beads are by far the best I have ever tried, I am so pleased with them I want to shout from the rooftops that every woman should own a pair – but remember, there are two different sizes for a reason, if you’re not sure I’d say to go with what Lelo recommend for your situation – but if like me you feel you know which is right for you, then go with what you feel.

 Happy jiggling!!

with love 2016

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Rouge Spreader Bar – Jamesey Reviews


The SMUT:RESTRAINED BLOG HOP is happening at the moment  and ends of the 27th. It’s being brought to us by the lovely people at Smut.Uk. This is the first time I’ve ever taken part in something like this and as you’ll see in the review before it’s my first real venture into the exciting world of restraint. As a special addition to this blog post make sure and follow the link above to see what the other amazing bloggers have to say!!

As a special offer to tie into this event www.nicennaughty.co.uk are offering 2 vouchers for their website! The rules are simple – The first person to post a small review of a restraint they’ve used in the past and share the link to this  blog will get a £30 voucher to spend on the website and the second to do the same will get a £20 voucher. Winners will be notified by the 31st of January. Now without further ado – onto the review!


Life Changing Movie

A life time ago I watched an amazing movie called “Preaching to the Perverted”; it’s an amazing movie and I actually owned it on VHS! (that’s how I know it was forever ago!) The movie really shaped my view on a lot of things namely fetish and S+M. Obviously because it’s a movie everything is exaggerated but being a younger and somewhat friskier 18 year old I thought it was HOT! I didn’t fully understand what the hell was going on in a lot of the more fetish orientated scenes but all I knew was that I thought everything happening was horny as hell! It was one of my most watched Summer Movie of whatever year I was 18 in, (I’ve been 25 for about 6 years now so I have no actual concept of time).  However the partner I was with at the time labeled it all as disgusting, dirty and freaky. We broke up not long after, nothing to do with his film reviews to be fair, he was just wasn’t the right fit for me. However his words stayed with me for a very long time – and it took me years to get over the idea that something that had interested me so much was viewed as freaky or weird.

After doing the review for the Electro Pebble, I could feel a bit of the shame I had over being interested in the more “unconventional” aspects of sex. So when I got asked to review the Rouge Leg Spreader Bar with Leather Ankle Cuffs it felt like the universe was sending me a sign to get the hell over it!


I received the bar and first impressions of it were “WOW!!” followed by a little slither of fear because I was once again venturing into the unknown. For the uninformed a spreader bar is a metal bar with two cuffs at either end designed to keep the legs spread wide.  It does look like it means business and before I jumped into the deep end I sat down with The Hubby and spoke to him about what I was thinking and feeling about doing the review. Strangely I was a little scared and when I explained to him that whilst I really wanted to, I was really apprehensive about trying something like this and for reasons unknown even to me, it was stressing me out a little bit. After a chat we established some ground rules about what was going to happen and more importantly we set up a safe word so that if it got too much for me I could stop the play straight away. (Cher was safe word btw – because you know – I’m not quite gay enough.)


The Rouge Leg Spreader Bar with Leather Ankle Cuffs is actually a really nice looking spreader bar. The steel bar is 30 inches in length and the cuffs are made of really high quality black leather. The inside is quite soft and after wearing for a while I didn’t notice any chaffing of discomfort. The price is really good as well, meaning it won’t break the bank and handily the cuffs are removable so you can use them in other forms of play.


So what is the actual point of wearing a spreader bar? Well aside from keeping your legs wide open and restricting your movements it can be really fun in a few different ways;

  1. Useful to help restrict movement
  2. The bar can be used to help get into different positions which is really helpful, if like me, you have zero flexibility.
  3. You can use additional cuffs and tie them to the bar to help further restraint.


It can also be a very useful tool to help you get into “sub-space” which is something I found when using this. As soon as I put them on I realized that I was restrained and this meant I had to submit to The Hubby until he took them off or I said the safe word. The way we played when I was wearing them was very different to how we’ve played in the past whether we’ve used toys or if it’s just been straight forward sex. As the play went on I noticed that I was getting much more into it than I ever thought I would, all my fears and hang ups I had about wanting to venture down the path into bondage and restraint melted away and I was only aware of my partner.  He felt that he had the power as I was the one restrained but I’ve never felt so empowered in my life. I knew I could stop this at any second but I didn’t want to. I had the power and whilst this was very erotic, the feel of the cuffs on my ankles and the difficulty I had in moving meant I had to surrender that power to my husband.  The whole experience of using the spreader bar changed the way we were playing and after a very long play we were both smiling like the Cheshire cat afterwards.

Once we were decent again, I felt closeness to someone I’ve been with for 15 years, and I asked him about his thoughts on the experience. It was something he wanted to examine further and confessed that he had felt like a very different person during the session and told me that he felt closer to me afterwards than he had during any other play we’ve had. I replied that I felt the same way, I felt more powerful because I had done something so far removed from my comfort zone that I’d had a near melt down before trying it, but now looking back I am so glad that I dealt with my own personal hang ups regarding the item of fetish, bondage and restraint play.

This whole review is of course, only how I felt and I would like to remind anyone that if you are going to play with someone to ensure that you respect both you and your partner’s limits. I had a very enjoyable experience because there was ground work put into place beforehand. We had set limits – we had established a safe word and we both knew the roles we were going to be playing.  I do encourage everyone to step outside their comfort zone every once in a while as the results might surprise you, but do so only at your own pace.

My final word on this is simple – just be you and enjoy yourself and if you get the chance- watch Preaching To The Perverted. It might just change how you view your own sexuality. Oh and for those wondering how I feel about those hang ups? In the words of Adore  –


with love 2016

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How long should sex last? Average time u

How long should sex last? Average time until orgasm revealed http://shr.gs/M4vc7BF

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Loving Joy – Power Bullet. Jamesey Reviews.

If there is one essential item that almost every woman should have in their toy box it’s a bullet. Those little buggers are like the WD40 of the sex toy world – tiny little thing with 101 uses! But as I said in the opening – it’s a toy that every woman should own, so what about us boys? Are we being ignored again by the Sex Toy Gods?!  I’m here to inform you that Nope! Bullets are the new toy that most guys should have in their box box/drawer/chest/room (delete as appropriate)


So for those of us who aren’t 100% on sex toy lingo, a bullet is basically a small vibrator that is usually used on the clitoris to help women achieve orgasm. So what about us boys? Obviously our lack of a clitoris means that we can’t use the toy right? Wrong!

There’s so much that you can do with a bullet on yourself or on your husband/boyfriend/Steve from accounts. Again delete as appropriate.

1. Use it on his nipples – the vibrations are great to help get him in the mood and enhance his senses (add a blindfold if you fancy adding a little extra sensory play  into the mix)

2. Run it up and down the inside of his thigh, tease him with the bullet as you work it higher and higher.

3. Use it on his balls – they’re super sensitive and if you add the bullet to his balls while giving a blow job – he’ll go through the roof.

4. Run it up and down the shaft of the penis and around the head.

5. Use it on the perineum – it’s the soft spot between the balls and the bum – MAJOR pleasure zone!


See – bullets aren’t just for women anymore! All it takes is a little imagination (well and lube. Always add lube – it just makes things better!)


Now on to the actual point of this review,  the toy I’m reviewing is The Loving Joy Rechargable Power  Bullet.

When I first received it I have to admit, I really liked the packaging. It’s straight forward and really clean looking, just a picture of the bullet on the packaging and if I was looking to buy something it would catch my eye.

As per standard for me, I went to read the instructions but there weren’t any with the toy. It does however come with a charging docking station and a USB charger. So I popped it on to charge and had a google – 60 minutes of charge for 60 minutes of play. (I highly doubted I’d be needing 60 minutes but never mind)


Once it was charged I figured I would take my own advice and do some of the things listed above – I’ve got to say the power behind this bullet is insane! It’s only 3.5 inches but it really delivers in the power stakes! It’s also got a total of 3 speeds and 17 different functions – a total 20 different options to play with!  The material that is used on the bullet is really nice as well. Soft feeling but the toy itself is ridged like most bullets. It’s also 100% waterproof – which I can confirm works! (Did nearly drown in the bath but that was more me working on my Daryl Hannah impression from Splash).


There’s not a whole lot more you can say about the bullet really, it’s strong, it’s quiet and it packs a whollop when used in sensitive places! I would suggest this toy to any man or woman- it’s rechargeable so you never need to worry about the batteries running out which is the common complaint about most bullets and because it’s rechargeable and not running off batteries you can really tell a difference with the power.

So to recap –

  • 3 Speeds – 17 functions. A total of 20 different play modes!
  • USB rechargeable
  • Quiet but strong
  • Waterproof
  • Unisex!
  • Really good price!


I’ve never personally thought of using bullets in play, but I can see this one getting used more than once!

with love 2016








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