First things first – massive apologies for the HUGE delay in getting these recaps out! It’s been a bit of a combination of lack of time to sit and actually write them out and something happens in episode 4/5 that left me feeling really uncomfortable about the show and whether I wanted to continue to recap the show or not… suffice to say – I’m going to go ahead with the recaps but I will talk about why I debated giving up the recaps when the time comes. (I bet you are all DYING to know what happens in episode 5 now!!) So without further ado and only 3 weeks late – here’s the recap to episode 3!
The show opens with it’s usual “cumming up” and shows a few snippets from the upcoming episode. It looks like it’s going to be a bit more of a hard core episode than the previous 2 have been which considering it’s a porn show was a long time cumming. (Sorry couldn’t help myself). After showing pretty much the whole episode in 2 second clips we join the contestants and the judges all chilling in the Sex Factor House. Tori Black informs the contestants that this episode is called – Back To Basics. The premise is simple. They will be teaming up the contestants in two’s to perform a scene. The judges will watch and score and the person with the highest score wins. Seems simple enough, but then again this is reality TV and nothing is ever as straight forward as it seems! The judges also drop a bombshell and announce that both Sydney and Barry have left the competition. They give no indication as to why they have left but do treat us to a hand graphic of them with big red X’s on their faces – Kieran then announces that this week will be a double elimination. That’s what you need on a porn set – pressure! (Side note – it looks like the contestants have had makeovers, which I am so unhappy about! I LOVE make-overs, you should see me when Biggest Loser does make over week. I literally sob for an hour and a half while trying to talk myself out of cutting a fringe in my hair like Jessie J.)
Hero & Ali
Our first two contestants to shoot their scene are Hero and Ali, from the second their segment starts you know it’s going to be a good one. Both look like a perfect match for each other, it’s being shot outside by the pool and Remmy La Croix is going to help direct the scene for them. Ali has changed the pink from her hair to darker browns and it’s looking really nice on her. The scene they shoot looks really good, lots of different positions and Remmy gives some fantastic advice to both contestants to help make sure that they are really working the time they have and pushing their scene. It’s all going well until Hero can’t quite finish and give them the money shot they needed. Still, the contestants talked highly of each other, both seemed to have a great time and even Remmy was happy with how it went. All in all – good job guys! The whole thing goes without a hitch – well minus the important shot.
Sunny & Blair
O.M.G! SUNNY WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?! Not going to lie – was LIVID when they showed Sunny minus the long hair, which considering he is my favourite boy to win put me in a foul mood. The rest of his scene didn’t really help matters either. The segment with Sunny and Blair (my two winners!) starts with Kieran staring at Sunny and informing him “You have to get a hard on for Blair. If you don’t…..” So instantly the pressure is on for Sunny. We cut to the judges who will be watching the scene – my Queen – Asa Akira and the doubter Kieran Lee. Asa says that she has high hopes for the scene while Kieran really isn’t sold and says as much to the camera. Blair walks out looks AMAZING in a white body stocking that shows her figure off and really pop’s, Kieran and Asa spend a bit of time commenting on how nice her vagina looks and other things… (There are things that I never think I’ll write in my life. This episode really helped me to tick about 10 of them off the bucket list!) We get started on the scene with a close up Sunny talking about how he’s going in with the warrior’s spirit and how he wants to give them a good scene. Now here’s the thing, even as a 1st grade homosexual I can see that Blair is hot, she’s well up for everything in this competition and really she oooooooooozes sex appeal. I’m beginning to think that there’s a lot more going on off camera than we are lead to believe because even down to the music – there’s a weird vibe to the show (that will continue to episode 4 and 5.) especially when it comes to how the boys are performing. The scene goes off, Asa gives Blair some advice and Blair talks to the camera about how they had decided to go full dom/sub with their scene and she was going to completely submit to him. Sadly Sunny just couldn’t rise to the occasion. It’s all really uncomfortable and isn’t helped by Kieran being (in my opinion) a bit of an arse to Sunny. Saying things like “Sunny mate – you’ve gone down quicker than the titanic and it’s a bit pathetic mate” really isn’t going to do anyone any favours. Kieran continues to be a dick Sunny, which in turn puts more pressure onto Sunny. (I’m totally putting it down to his hair cut). Kieran gives Sunny a quick walk through on the best way to dom, Blair gets very into it and…. Sunny still can’t get it up. Short version – Sunny can talk the talk, he just over talked the idea and he couldn’t perform.
The Colonel & Kayla
Lexi Bell is the judge watching this scene and she’s super excited. She’s giving them both advice, the Colonel is stood there rotating two snooker balls in his hand and Kayla says “I couldn’t really focus on the Colonel. He has some really nice balls in his hand.” Yup. The scene starts and they really do get down to business quite quickly. I’m not big on picking up on chemistry, but these two did have some quite obvious sexual chemistry with each other. (I’m just going to say it though – watching the Colonel having sex really does make me a little….uncomfortable. I don’t know why, but it is always just a bit cringe worthy.) They get the pop shot (+10 point to the Colonel though, only boy so far who has!) but they do talk about how quick the scene was and how fast the colonel finished.
Buddy & Kaelin
So this is the first time these two have ever had sex with each other on or off screen. Remmy and Lexi are the two judges who are overseeing this one and from the second the scene starts, things are a bit weird. Buddy comments that Kaelin was shaking like a life while they kissed and after a few seconds the girls stop the scene to talk to Kaelin. They ask Kaelin if she’s ok to continue with the scene and she says yes, but Buddy’s VT tells a bit of a different story and he informs us that it’s really killed it for him. What follows is a bit of a car crash. Kaelin’s worrying, Buddy’s worrying – nothing rises to the occasion. Both start profoundly apologising to each other, but really the damage is done and the scene is pretty much dead in the water. They call quits on the scene and both Buddy and Kaelin feel terrible. (I actually felt really bad for Buddy cause he did take a lot of the blame himself and did his very best to make sure that Kaelin knew it wasn’t her.)
Donnie & Adrian
So Adrian is now rocking some orange hair. That’s pretty much the only positive about the next 5 minutes of footage. Tori Black is their judge and even she comments in the opening VT that the whole thing was a car crash. I was actually able to feel the tension in my living room watching this bit and it made me so uncomfortable I had to pause the show and make a cuppa. There’s zero communication between the two, zero chemistry and zero hard on. Yup – another boy fails to deliver the goods. There are no pointing fingers here, because it really does take two to tango, but week 1 – Adrian couldn’t fake an orgasm, fully clothed. Week 2 – Adrian was picked out as being uncomfortable in the photo-shoot (and was a shoe in to go until Veronica Vain walked) now week 3 – she’s still uncomfortable and it’s passed to Donnie. Although to be honest Tori did sort of try to say that Donnie did well with the circumstances at first, then as soon as she talks to Adrian she pretty much turns the tables and says that it’s all Donnie’s fault. Bit of a weird u-turn, but there you go.
Jonny & Dani
Well if you thought the last scene was weird – you’re in for a treat!! I’m not a huge fan of Dani, she reminds me of that crazy kid in class that would poke frogs with a stick. (yes I know – shady queen – you just remember this line when I get to the end of the recap!)
As with the last scene there’s a weird atmosphere here. Dani is clearly very excited at the idea of getting to do a scene with Jonny. She talks about his rather large member and how excited she is to see it. Kieran is on set again to help “motivate” the actors. He does the same line about how best to go down on a woman and make sure that you’re still getting the camera angle. Dani giggles like a crazy lady the whole time he’s talking. We cut to a VT of Jonny saying that he had to repeatedly ask her to STOP putting her tongue down his throat; you can see when he’s kissing her that she looks like she’s trying to tickle his lungs. (Considering the importance placed on kissing in week 1 you’d think Dani should know that it’s something to make sure and get right.) Sadly Jonny can’t rise to the occasion – (running theme in this week’s episode) and Kieran suggests they try it in soft-core format so it just looks like they’re having sex. Dani isn’t overly impressed with this as she thought that all you had to do was touch a man on the leg and he’d be ready for sex. Kieran tries to talk Jonny round, but still not happening. As the pairing comes (I know, bad pun) to a close Jonny quite bluntly tells the audience that if he’d had a different scene partner he would have been able to get hard. OUCH!
And that’s a wrap with the scene’s – really underwhelming, I can imagine the frustration of the female talent, but it’s nice to show that it’s not as simple for the boys to just turn up, get hard and play.
The judges sit around on high directors chairs, looking all cool and discuss the scene’s that they’ve seen. Kieran mentions the Blair kissing thing and clearly seems to lead to the fact that she wasn’t very good but all the other judges just say how hot she is. They carry on talking about the rest of the scenes – Adrian and Donnie get a special mention as Tori Blacks labels their scene the most uncomfortable experience she’s ever had. If Adrian doesn’t go this week I’ll be amazed!
No voting from the fellow contestants this week. Instead after a dramatic line up, the contestants are told that if their names are called forward they got 6 lowest scores.; the names called out are –
Donnie – Kieran isn’t sure how he managed to get it so wrong this week.
Adrian – Asa informs her that the judges need to feel something from her and she needs to try and be a bit more vocal in her performance. (Sorry this is a total understatement)
Sunny – The judges felt his ego got in the way of his performance.
Dani – Lexi tells her that she crossed the line by repeatedly ignoring her scene partner’s wishes and making him uncomfortable. (Really glad this got brought up and not glossed over)
Jonny – He’s blatantly there because of Danie – there’s NO negativity given to him, just praise.
Kaelin – Her discomfort is becoming painful obvious and it’s even making the judges uncomfortable.
Tori Black informs Sunny and Dani that they are going home. I am GUTTED!! Absolutely LOVED Sunny (I even follow him on twitter) so I’m devastated that he’s been kicked so early, don’t get me wrong I fully understand it but BOOOO L Dani….. she’s not happy. She even asks the judges “Are you serious?” followed by the best crazy eye I have ever seen on my 32 years on this earth. What follows this elimination can only be described as the infamous Tyra Banks meltdown on steroids.
The judges give the two eliminated contestants a quick breakdown as to why they are going, Sunny’s is his inability to get an erection and Tori really drives home to Dani that crossing a person’s boundaries on set is just unacceptable. (her crazy eye’s get crazier here). The contestants are asked if they have anything to say and Dani instantly says that she doesn’t remember crossing any boundaries. Tori isn’t giving this up and outright says that if she can’t remember crossing any – that’s the problem. She wasn’t listening to her partner. Sunny just says thank you. (Love you Sunny!!) The two eliminated contests leave…… and we cut to Crazy Town. Main resident – Dani Darko.
Dani is in a bathroom, having a very loud, very crazy lady breakdown. Lots of “I MADE THAT SHIT” *banging on chest* “ME!”” *banging on chest” Blair is clearly on the crazy lady patrol and is doing her best to calm down the hot mess in the bathroom while Dani hisses about how lucky everyone was to see her lady bits. (her hair is covering her eyes, but I know they’re crazy right now) Blair tells Dani that she really respects her as a person and that of course they were lucky to get to have sex with her – which unleashes CRAZYLADY LEVEL2!! This involves using the voice from the Exorcist while jumping on the spot hissing/screaming/crying “they didn’t though – I HAD TO FAKE IT. I HAD TO FAKE IT! I HAD TO FAKE IT!!” At this point Blair is clearly thinking that she drew the short straw and should have told Adrian to come here (although I think Dani might have eaten her). Sadly Dani’s mind ha snapped at this point and she just keeps looking at Blair (and now Kaelin) and mutters/hisses/crazy-laughs/sobs at them. Having hit our yearly crazy levels we cut to sunny who’s just sad and leaves the house. (check out the link to the video below for this melt down in all 2:30 of it’s glory)
CRAZY LADY HERE
End. Of. Episode.
WOW!! Weird episode – I honestly thought Kiaran would be nicer to the male contestants, but I really thought he was a bit of a dick to them. Adrian has survived another week (HOW?????) and my favourite male went home – farewell Sunny! I’m not going to mention the crazy melt down again – but I am going to watch it about 100 times on youtube, show it to my husband and inform him that if he doesn’t buy me tickets to see Cher this will be how I react.
What did you all think? Let me know in the comments below!