My Life – Part 3

The Nice ‘n’ Naughty blog has the great honour of having another post from Debbie; our guest blogger. Debbie will be giving us an insight into her life as a cross dresser in her special blog posts.

Please read, enjoy and comment.


I begin my latest few lines with the recognition that I do not expect, or indeed wish, that everyone agrees with what I have to say. Diversity of view and life style is very much at the heart of what we in the ‘community’ (whatever that might mean) find so fulfilling. But that is true of so many such communities and travellers, Goths and some religious minority groups all find their particular forms of self-expression fulfilling and rewarding, but often in the face of covert and overt opposition and, if there is one thing that might be condemned it is dull cultural uniformity that forbids such enriching experiences.

Most assuredly such self-expression will offend some, but the view I take, and the defence I offer, is that I do not set out to offend (to do so would undermine much of what I believe in) but acknowledge that I do, unavoidably and unintentionally, offend some people. What I try do however, and I hope this does not come over as some sanctimonious exercise in self-aggrandisement,  is act as an ambassador for those who explore their life style on the gender divide (let’s, please, try to avoid terms such as TV etc. and provide for a wider definition). I realise only too well, and accept happily, that on close inspection I do not, shall we say, ‘pass muster’ as a woman, but I’m good enough, I hope, not to alarm those who I encounter.

In this sense I am fortunate. Living as I do, finding my identity, as I have done, and having opportunity to live my life as I wish, has given me a confidence otherwise long-denied.  This confidence is not one I use to trample over other peoples’ views, but it does allow me to engage comfortably with people and let them see that I am neither dangerous, threatening nor some kind of socio-sexual freak. Living the open life as I do, rather than being constrained within ‘the scene’, brings me into daily contact with fellow human beings of all persuasions. What, you may ask, is the reaction? I know full-well that some of us (and so many other minority groups) have suffered grievously at the hands those who lack sympathy and understanding but, that much acknowledged, my experiences have been nothing other than positive and rewarding. Whether this is the consequence of genuine allowance for me or from a matter of simple courtesy does not matter. I have found people as diverse as shop assistants at my local supermarket,  waiters and waitresses in tea shops and restaurants, police officers (yes, police officers), customs and immigration employees at airports and ferry terminals – I could go on but I won’t as you get the idea –  wonderfully engaging, happy to chat with me and have never caused me any embarrassment or difficulties whatsoever. It has, to be honest, been a heart-warming reminder that most human beings are decent people with degrees of tolerance that go for the most part unrecognised whilst the media are happy to seize upon the worst side of humanity.

            However, I do not take this for granted. The general and diverse social values that we now hold dear in ‘western’ society have been hard-fought for and remain under threat.  I enjoy, for example, travelling but find that the geographic extent of my ventures is limited and, sadly, becoming increasingly so.  There are some parts of the World that will always been denied me, and I reluctantly accept that, but others are now assuming similar degrees of collective, dare I say it, state-approved hostility and, eastern Europe – a region I’d love to visit – is increasingly antagonistic to minority life-styles of many forms and not just mine.  I doubt I can ever enjoy the glories of St. Petersburg as matters stand. But we are not alone in respect of such discrimination.

            All this however is to somewhat detract from the otherwise positive attitude towards me in Britain.  The worst I experience is a sort of partially-concealed sniggering, nudging and subdued finger-pointing – never anything worse – and the view I take is that if I can introduce a little humour into other lives and maybe, just maybe, get them to think of those who live by different, but non-threatening, sets of rules, then it’s all to the good.


with love 2016

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